


Omega Days

by Azzy_Darling



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, Breathplay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, dub-con, erotic asphyxiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzy_Darling/pseuds/Azzy_Darling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Kaidan's surprise the dancers just danced, that was somehow a nice change of pace. So the show was a bunch of party-fluffers? He reached back over the bar to grab the bartender and get his second drink. "Hey I have a question." He yelled over the music as he received his drink, "I'm looking for someone called Shepard."</p><p>The Turian chuckled, "You're looking at him." He pointed at one of the dancers, "Word has it he was raised by Vorcha, so good luck with it, mister."</p><p>Kaidan looked over at the man who was apparently the Shepard that his intel had talked about. So this guy would know where Saren was? It just didn't really make sense to Kaidan. He sipped his drink and looked at Shepard; he wasn't all that bad really, even if he looked like someone who belonged more in an Alliance boot camp, if Alliance soldiers wore low cut shorts and glitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neilsaggy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=neilsaggy).



> Okay so I took a bunch of stuff from the games, and some from Revelation, shook it in a hat and this stuff came out. Nah I just stole with arms and legs from the different timelines when I thought it suited my purpose. And other stuff I just plain made up.
> 
> This is written for [neilsaggy](http://neilsaggy.tumblr.com/), who prompted Tumblr and I was the idiot who couldn't resist. Nah seriously, thank you for getting my writing mojo back. I hope you like it even if it's not exactly what you asked for. 
> 
> Betaed by [E.J.](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AsylumFarm/pseuds/AsylumFarm) \- Thank you for helping me out with the plot Mausi. Love ya
> 
> There is a soundtrack [@8tracks](http://8tracks.com/darlingazzy/omega-days-fanfiction-soundtrack)

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

* * *

 

Kaidan had been on Omega for two days now, and he already felt constricted, maybe it was the fact that there was no illusion of a sky. He had met with his contact, a man who had proved impressively unhelpful. All the goddamn Salarian had given him was the same of a club that Saren was known to frequent when he was on Omega. Kaidan thought it made perfect sense after all, why would Saren sit on Aria's lap? Maybe the world would come to a grinding halt if those two egos were within yards of each other.

He had always loved what he did for a living, it came naturally to him. He had always been good at tracking people down, so why not track down scum and get paid? It was a perfect solution really. But after hunting for Saren for the better part of six months, Kaidan really just wanted to throw in the towel; it was not like he was the only one looking for Saren, because honestly the bounty on that fucker was through the roof. The thing was Kaidan wanted all those credits so badly he could taste it, and he had definitely lucked out when he had gotten the information about Omega. He would never in a million years have thought this would be Saren's kind of place. Not like Omega wasn't one of the better places to hunt for wanted criminals, but Saren was different, he used to work for the council, and as far as Kaidan knew, Saren had not used his skills or knowledge to sell the information he had, he had raised his own little army, gunning for a throne.

Tonight he would go check out the lead he had, it might be crummy, but it was all he had right now. Kaidan looked up at the neon sign on the building, and down at the address on his datapad, yeah this was the place. He shook his head, "Plastique? Really now?" He shrugged and willed himself to believe that Saren would frequent a shady dance club, because the alternative, that the information was bad, was just too much to bear.

Inside the club was just about everything he had thought it would be. Obnoxious and loud. Kaidan made his way to the bar and quickly snatched a stool; he ordered a beer and turned around to watch the dance floor. The Turian behind the bar poked his arm and when Kaidan looked up he pushed the drink across the bar, "Your credit went through." He said with a deep voice. "I should inform you that you paid for three more drinks upfront, is that a mistake?"

"No." Kaidan said smiling. "It's easier that way."

"Whatever rocks your boat." The Turian said with a shrug, "Enjoy the show."

"Show?"

"First time here?" The Turian asked, looking Kaidan up and down, "Should have known, you don't look like you're from around here."

"So what's the show?" Kaidan asked ignoring the insult.

"The dancers." The Turian said nodding towards the pedestals with poles, "You thought those were there for the decoration value?"

"Great, figures." Kaidan sighed. "A goddamn strip joint."

The music changed, and four dancers was lifted to the pole-islands by what Kaidan could only assume were bouncers. To Kaidan's surprise the dancers just danced, that was somehow a nice change of pace. So the show was a bunch of party-fluffers? He reached back over the bar to grab the bartender and get his second drink. "Hey I have a question." He yelled over the music as he received his drink, "I'm looking for someone called Shepard."

The Turian chuckled, "You're looking at him." He pointed at one of the dancers, "Word has it he was raised by Vorcha, so good luck with it, mister."

Kaidan looked over at the man who was apparently the Shepard that his intel had talked about. So this guy would know where Saren was? It just didn't really make sense to Kaidan. He sipped his drink and looked at Shepard; he wasn't all that bad really, even if he looked like someone who belonged more in an Alliance boot camp, if Alliance soldiers wore low cut shorts and glitter. After the third drink Kaidan admitted that he was actually pretty fucking hot, dancing and grinding, lost in the music. As Kaidan turned around for his fourth drink, he grabbed the bartender again, "These dancers, do they do anything besides dancing, if you know what I mean."

The Turian handed Kaidan his fourth drink, "You would have to be pretty V.I.P, stranger." Kaidan could feel the 'and you are nobody' in the Turian's glare. "He is quite a sight ain't he? Quite the popular dancer, Shepard."

Kaidan nodded before he could stop himself, damn booze! "So, how does one get around to talking to this Shepard?"

The Turian laughed, "You'd have to catch him off duty, ask the bouncers, maybe they know something. Now excuse me, I have other customers."

Kaidan had his drink and looked at Shepard dance, at least some of the puzzle made better sense now. He had just never figured Saren for someone who'd want a lap dance from a human man. But on the other hand, he had never really thought about Saren and lap dances in the same sentence before either. He got up and strode through the club, stopping in front of the bouncers. "Hey!" He said, getting the attention of the human bouncer, the Krogan ignoring him.

"Can I help you?" The bouncer said.

"I need to talk to that guy, Shepard." Kaidan said, "And the Turian at the bar told me you'd know when I can catch him."

The bouncer frowned, "The Turian lied."

Kaidan sighed, "How much."

"Are you bribing me?" The bouncer asked with an arched brow, arms crossed over his chest.

"Only if you want me to." Kaidan stepped closer to the bouncer and said, "I am P.I. Alenko, and I am here to talk to Shepard, I am not a money collector or anything, I just need to talk to him. You have my word."

The bouncer sighed, "200 creds, and if you as much as breathe on him wrong, you're dead."

"Deal." Kaidan, "Your name, I'll transfer it once I'm out, it doesn't look as suspicious."

"James," The bouncer said, "Vega."

"Alright Mr. Vega, so when?" He nodded towards the dance floor. "Can I talk to Shepard I mean."

"Tomorrow, come here four in the afternoon, sharp. And I will let you through the backdoor." James said.

"You got it."

~*~

"Hey Shepard." James said, leaning against the door to the small dressing room. "There was this guy asking for you earlier. Something you need to tell me?"

"Like what?" Shepard huffed stepping out of the closet sized shower.

"I don't know, like run ins with the law or maybe debt?" James said, watching stoically as Shepard pulled on a pair of pants.

"No." Shepard sighed reaching for a boot.

"He just looked like a law man, that's all." James shrugged, "But if you don't wanna tell me, fine."

"There is nothing to tell." Shepard shot back, reaching for his other boot.

"Guess we'll find out tomorrow." James said, "He just wired me 200 creds for opening the back door."

"James, Really?" Shepard sighed and pulled a sweater over his head, "Nice to know you'll sell me out for 200. Besides 100 of those should be mine."

James laughed a low rumbling laugh, "You wish."

"Is that all?" Shepard said, standing and pulling on his jacket. When James didn't move from the doorframe, Shepard stuck his hands in his pockets, and just stared at the bouncer. "James, I'm tired, I want to go home. Move."

"Care for some company?"

"No." Shepard gruffed, giving up and just pushing James out of the way, "Good night."

"Your loss Shepard."

"Whatever." Shepard stepped through the backdoor and zipped his jacket, walking home.

~*~

The next afternoon Kaidan drove around the club and parked his bike, walking up to the backdoor waiting. And as promised the Bouncer whom Kaidan knew was James, opened the door. "He's in the dressing room, third door on your left."

"Thanks." Kaidan mumbled, hurrying inside and down the corridor. He stopped by the door, and knocked politely. "Shepard?" He called. The door opened, and Kaidan had to blink twice, before he realized that this man was the same one he had seen dancing last night. He looked like any other man on Omega with the layers of glamour off.

Shepard looked Kaidan up and down and asked, "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm P.I. Alenko, and I have been trying to find you." He smiled politely. "Can I come in?"

Shepard eyed him, "Why are you trying to find me? There ain't nobody looking for me, buddy." And just as Shepard tried to close the door in Kaidan's face, Kaidan stopped it with a foot. "No, not you, but I was told you could help find the person I am looking for."

Thinking about it for a minute, Shepard shrugged and stepped away from the door, Kaidan tumbling into the room. "Alright. I have to get ready, so be quick about it." He leaned up against a cracked mirror with a horrible light on top of it.

"You see, I was hired by this person from Horizon in the Lera system, she asked me to track down a family member of hers." Kaidan licked his lips, hoping that Shepard wouldn't detect his lie. "And I was told that you'd know where Spike Marlowe would be."

All color drained from Shepard's face for a second, but otherwise there was no indication that he had even heard Kaidan. "Your information was wrong." Shepard said with a strained smile, "I don't know anything." He shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked, he punched Marlowe in on his data pad, and showed it to Shepard, "This guy, you never seen him?"

Shepard hardly looked at the picture, but shook his head, "No," he sighed, "Look Mister, there is a lot of people coming to this club -"

Kaidan took his data pad back, his mind frantically working overtime, trying to come up with something that would make Shepard talk. He had thought he was smart when he made up the story about being a P.I. looking for some poor woman’s lost brother. Truth was that Marlowe was Saren's right hand, and where Saren was, Marlowe was sure to be. "Alright, well what about I leave my number just in case you see him, or remember something? His sister would really want to talk to him, and I would hate to return to Horizon with no news for her and her family." He took a pen and wrote his number on what looked like a napkin, or what had used to be a napkin.

Shepard didn't answer; he just let Kaidan write the number, and then moved over to open the door.

Kaidan panicked a little, he knew he had to come up with something, something that would make Shepard call, or at least not just toss his number. "Hey Shepard," He said with a soft smile, "I saw you dance yesterday, you're good."

Raising an amused brow, Shepard smiled, "Why thank you. Now please leave so I can get ready." He gestured through the open door.

"I was thinking I’d come see you dance again, while I am still on Omega." Kaidan said, slowly walking, stalling, towards the door.

"You do that." Shepard said, placing a hand on the small of Kaidan's back and none too gently ushered him out in the hall. "Have a nice stay on Omega."

"Thanks." Kaidan sighed, "shit...” He mumbled to himself as he walked out the same way he had come in.

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by E.J.
> 
> I thought chapter 1 was so short that I figured I'd shoot you chapter 2 as well. ;)

After some long sleepless nights, and an angry drinking binge, Kaidan came to a conclusion. In Kaidan's experience strippers and the like, were not the smartest around. So maybe Shepard wouldn't tell him anything? But maybe he would take him there? Or maybe if he could get backstage again, he could bug the wardrobe? He was not about to give up that bounty now, for all he knew several of his 'colleagues' could be on their way here on the same tip. 

So that night Kaidan settled in outside the club, in the alley where the backdoor was, he didn't think that Shepard would use the main entrance. Hiding in the shadows, he saw more than he had bargained for, patrons, prostitutes, other dancers, you name it! What was this alley, the official make-out spot? None of them had been Shepard through. As the music stopped, Kaidan waited patiently and was finally rewarded with what he was waiting for, Shepard stumbling out of the door. The first thing that Kaidan noticed was that he was not really dressed, he was still covered in glitter, but was wearing a pair of common pants and an open shirt. But what caught his attention for real were the two holding Shepard up, one human and the other Batarian. He snuck a little closer because something just seemed off. Kaidan noted that Shepard had lost his footing and was pretty much only held up by the two men, "I'll teach you what it means to say 'no' to Korvan of the Blue Suns." The Batarian said, looking over at his buddy on Shepard's other side, "Yeah." The man chirped, "Not V.I.P enough for you? I know what you want, you've been asking for it all night." 

Kaidan silently got his gun from its strap, squinting he looked at Shepard who didn't really struggle, his head lolled back as the two Blue Suns members tried to get a better hold. "Damn Frank, how much red sand did you slip this guy?" The Batarian complained while hoisting Shepard to his feet once more. Kaidan figured that this was his cue, even if he wasn't really sure if he should get involved, he couldn't just let this scene happen. 

"Hey." He called as he stepped out of the shadow, "You don't want to do that." He hoisted his gun and aimed it at the Batarian.

"We were just following this guy home," The human named Frank said, "So chill." 

"I don't think so." Kaidan stepped closer, his biotic field buzzing with its deadly charge around him. "Be smart about it; put him down on the ground and leave. And no one gets hurt." 

The two Blue Suns looked at each other, and slowly lowered Shepard to his knees. "We just wanted to party a little." They stepped away, "Korvan?" The man asked, and the Batarian just sighed, "Let's just leave. This slut is not worth it." 

Shepard tried weakly to get to his feet, but just ended up with his face on the ground as the two let go of him, walking off. Kaidan thought about shooting them just because it would make him feel better, or just in case they'd try this on someone else. None of them looked like they liked to ask permission for anything. But he lowered his gun, and hauled Shepard to his feet instead. "Come on." He said, Wrapping one of Shepard's arms around his neck, hoisting the dead weight on to his hip, he got Shepard to his bike. 

~*~

Shepard woke with a start, he wasn't really sure why as he sat up in the foreign bed, eyes wide trying to make sense of his surroundings. A hotel room? How the hell had ended up here? Groaning from a dull ache in the back of his head, he carefully lifted the covers only to find that he was still wearing his pants. He let out a relieved sigh, okay so he had not - not what? He remembered telling some Batarian to go fuck himself, and the next thing was feeling dizzy when he made it to the dressing room. It had just been so damn fast, but what was he doing here? 

"You're awake." Kaidan said with a smile as he walked through the door from the Hotel corridor, balancing a tray with food and coffee. "Good." 

"You?" Shepard blinked confused, "But...” 

"I think someone drugged you last night." Kaidan put down the tray on the vacant side of the bed, "I thought I couldn't leave you like that." He smiled, "Here, dig in." He lifted one of the cups of coffee off the tray and sipped it, leaving the rest for Shepard. 

Against his better judgment Shepard took the other cup of coffee, folded his legs under him and stared up at Kaidan who was standing by the window. "What happened?" 

"I just happened to drive by, and thought I saw you being dragged around by two trashy looking gang members, so I intervened, brought you here since you were out cold and couldn't tell me where you live." Kaidan smiled.

Shepard raised a brow, something didn't quite add up; maybe it was his tone and his body language that told Shepard that the P.I. was lying. He let it slide for now, because some of it was the same as what he recalled. "Thanks." He said with a tiny smile, "I'm surprised you are such a gentleman." He looked down into his coffee cup, knowing that he weren't referring to the rescue, but the fact that he didn't take advantage of the situation. 

"Your shirt is ruined; I have one you can have. And before you think I am the knight in shining armor, it's a shirt I got from my mother." Kaidan smiled amused. 

Shepard's smile tugged in the corner of his mouth, "Tell her you gave it to charity." 

"Clever." Kaidan grinned, "it's not a lie exactly, my mother has always been like a goddamn bloodhound when it comes to untruth." Shepard nodded and sipped his coffee while an uncomfortable silence spread in the room. "My name is Kaidan; I thought that anyone who wakes in my bed should be entitled to my first name. Can I have yours?" 

Shepard looked up at Kaidan, as was he trying to weigh the pros and cons, "John." He stated. 

"Okay, John." Kaidan said sitting down on the bed next to Shepard, "Is Shepard like your stage name or something?" 

Shepard laughed, "No, man. It's my name. John Shepard." His laugh subsided to an awkward smile, "But you already knew that." 

Kaidan nodded, "I did, but still I wanted to hear it from you." He looked over at Shepard who studied him with his azure blue eyes, almost too blue to not be enhanced in some way. "But honestly that is all I know, I know your name and your profession, and that you would know where Marlowe is." 

Shepard's expression hardened, "I told you, I don't know where that bastard is hiding out." 

"But you know of him?" Kaidan asked, leaning in a little.

"Maybe." Shepard admitted in a tiny voice, he turned slightly around and looked down at the bed, "Sorry about the glitter." He said, trying to change the subject.

"Hey maybe the maid will think I got freaky with glitter." Kaidan grinned, relieved when he could see Shepard's amused smile, maybe he had been right, that gaining Shepard's trust was the best way of getting the info he wanted. "Give her something to talk about." 

"So you don't think they're gonna notice whenI leave here, covered in this shit?" Shepard asked with a little dry laugh.

"Well," Kaidan shrugged, catching Shepard's eyes for a second, "I'm fine with that." 

Shepard almost spat out his last mouthful of coffee. 

Kaidan laughed and stood up again, putting down his empty cup on the tray, "Way I see it; it's a perk that I got a job that is also pleasing to the eye." He shrugged, "win-win." 

"Marlowe is a lot of things, hot is not one of them." Shepard mumbled, realizing too late what he had actually said.

Kaidan let it slide and smiled warmly, "I meant you." 

"Oh." Shepard set down his cup and slid off the bed, looking around for his boots, he picked up a boot and stopped dead, looking over at Kaidan over his shoulder, "All you have to do is ask." 

"What?" Kaidan knew what Shepard meant, but he just had no rational answer to the statement. And he wished that Shepard didn't look so goddamn sweet and dirty at the same time while presenting an indecent proposal casually like that.

Shepard turned all the way around and looked Kaidan up and down, "I owe you one, so if that is what you'd want from me it's -" He trailed off and smiled to himself, seeing Kaidan shift nervously on the spot, "A deal." 

Kaidan couldn't believe he actually did this, but he knew that if he agreed to this, he would lose whatever bond he tried to make to Shepard. "No." Kaidan said smiling a little awkward. "But I would like something else from you though." 

"Alright." Shepard said, not sure if he was a little disappointed or not, dropping the boot and sticking his hands in his pockets. 

"Dinner, I'd like to take you out." Kaidan said, pushing off the window and picked up the other boot handing it to a baffled Shepard. "You know, food, wine and conversation." 

Shepard eyed Kaidan not sure what to think of it. "Like a date?" 

Kaidan shrugged "If you want it to be." 

Sitting down on the bed, Shepard pulled one boot on and started to lace it up; he stopped half way and looked up at Kaidan, "Just you and me, like buddies having dinner?" 

"Sure." 

"I can do that." Shepard nodded clearly puzzled by why Kaidan was being such a gentleman, maybe he didn't find him attractive after all? Or maybe it had been slutty to offer? It had just been so long since he had met anyone he felt even remotely attracted to, and Kaidan's voice had had him from the start. He returned to getting his boots on, noticing Kaidan out of the corner of his eye, going to his suitcase and pulled out a shirt. 

"It is what it is." Kaidan said holding out the T-shirt.

Shepard took the shirt and pulled it over his head, it was soft and smelled fresh and clean. He looked down his chest. "NHL?" 

Kaidan laughed a little, "It's very you." - Shepard looked up at Kaidan for an answer to his question. "National Hockey League. It's an Earth thing... Well actually I'd think it is a Canadian thing... Don't worry about all that, it's not offensive if that was what you were asking." 

"You're from Earth?" Shepard said unable to keep the surprise out of his voice. 

"Yeah." Kaidan nodded. "You?" 

"I saw earth on vids and stuff." Shepard said suddenly sounding a lot younger than he was. "But no, I'm born out here in the asshole of space." He shrugged, "Look Kaidan, thanks for the shirt and - Everything... I'll be seeing you around, right?" He held out his hand, figuring that it was what buddies did.

Kaidan took Shepard's hand and shook it, holding it longer than he had to, "You are welcome John." He smiled. "And I'll be around; you'll see I might surprise you." 

"Great." Shepard reluctantly took his hand back and turned to leave the room, "I'll look forward to that." 

Kaidan was still smiling as the door closed. He knew that rationally he was only befriending Shepard for the info, but what if he actually genuinely wanted to be in his company. It must have been the test of the millennia to turn down the promise of sex; Kaidan thought he might hate himself for that, for the rest of his life. But maybe when he had caught Saren and gotten the reward money, he could come back and sweep Shepard off his feet? He liked that thought, liked it a lot. 

~*~

Four days later Kaidan showed up at the Plastique, there was a queue out in front; maybe he should have picked another night? He turned off his bike, and folded his sunglasses and stuffed them in his pocket, strictly he didn't need them around here, but he just liked them. "Hey there!" someone called; Kaidan looked up and saw the bouncer, James wave at him to come over. 

"Shepard told me what you did, thought I'd thank you." James said with a smile, "It was something, man. Not everyone would have gotten between a couple of Blue Suns for a dancer." 

Kaidan shrugged, not sure if he was crazy about the flattery, and it made him feel a little guilty that he had had an agenda, and hadn't really done it as a selfless deed like James and Shepard apparently thought. "Well," he mumbled, "They were quite loud about what they were gonna do, and Shepard didn't look like he was in any place to argue even if he wanted to." 

"Sadly it happens once in a while, some bastards think that the dancers are prostitutes and don't quite get the message." James looked slightly shameful, "And well, Wrex and I, we just can't be everywhere." 

"I understand." Kaidan said, placing a friendly hand on James' shoulder. 

"You know what? You just go on in, and go to the bar, I'm quite sure Garrus wants to thank you too, the Turian you know." 

"Great, thanks James." Kaidan smiled and slipped into the club in front of all the waiting guests outside.

As James had suggested he went straight to the bar, and to his surprise he saw Shepard there hanging in over the bar talking to the Turian. Kaidan took a deep breath and walked over to them, "Hey." He yelled over the music.

"Kaidan!" Shepard lit up in a smile, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't come." 

"I have been busy." Kaidan said.

"Hey Garrus, this is that guy that scared off that Batarian asshole." Shepard yelled at Garrus, "Give him a drink on me." 

"Hells bells!" Garrus nodded, "You drink for free tonight. That was an admirable thing you did there." 

"Thank you." Kaidan said softly blushing against his will; he just didn't know what to do with all this praise. 

"So been off to exciting adventures, earth boy?" Shepard asked leaning subtly against Kaidan, swinging a water bottle. 

"Not really, no." Kaidan laughed softly, truth was that he had tried to find any other lead to find Saren, all of them was a dead ends. He had desperately hoped that hedidn have to have an agenda with Shepard. And in the end he had had to go fuck a prostitute that resembled him just to get that dirty look he had given him in the hotel room, when he had offered his services, out of his system. Not that it had actually worked like he had hoped. At least he could get a star for trying.

Shepard nodded when Kaidan didn't really answer, "Okay, I won't ask." He shot Kaidan a brilliant smile, "Are you gonna stick around?" 

"Maybe." Kaidan said, when all he wanted to do was to kiss those soft looking lips and tell him 'hell yeah'. 

"Alright, I gotta go work now. Maybe I'll see you later." Shepard said, placing a hand on Kaidan's shoulder squeezing it subtly. 

"Later." Kaidan gave Shepard a wide genuine smile, sort of trying to tell him that no matter what he said, then it was just a part of the game, of course he would stick around. 

~*~

When the music turned off, and the crew started to clean, Shepard was a little disappointed that Kaidan had not waited; he had been so sure that he would, why would be smile like that and then just leave? Shepard wiped the glitter off with a sigh. 

"Have this." Jack said, holding out a drink, "You'll feel better." 

Shepard looked up at his colleague, "Thanks." He took the drink and sipped it carefully, watching Jack as she took a sip of her own drink and put it down on the desk, to go get her own clothes.

"So who is he?" Jack asked as casually as she could.

"Who?" Shepard asked with an innocent expression, knowing he could most probably not pull it off, both Jack and Liara would spot his lie on the spot. 

"The guy you are sulking over." Jack stated, pulling her dancer gear off, and pulled her own top on.

Shepard laughed mirthlessly, "I am not sulking." 

"Are too." Jack rolled her eyes.

"Okay so maybe a little bit." Shepard admitted, returning to wiping off the glitter, "I just thought he'd wait, and ... I just don't get him, that's all." 

"You think he's fucking hot." Jack laughed, "You forget that I read you like an open book. John." 

"Alright!" Shepard sighed in defeat, "I think he is fucking hot, and I thought that he might think that I'm pretty fit too or something, but his actions and his words makes no sense. So I was thinking that maybe he was just humoring me." 

"Humoring you?" Jack laughed, pulling on her tight pants with a little jump, "Bitch please, people pay good credits, lots of credits just to have you dancing at their table, so you really think that a nobody like that would humor you? I think he is so struck that he just doesn’t know what to say or do." 

Shepard laughed shaking his head, unceremoniously dropping the tiny shorts he danced in, and pulled on his own pants. "Somehow I don't think that." Shepard zipped his pants and reached for his drink, "He travels the galaxy, he must be. I mean he is from Earth, and -" 

Jack pulled on a boot and looked over at Shepard with a serious expression, "You afraid he saw, you know." 

"Maybe." Shepard mumbled, "I just don't know." 

Jack inclined her head and studied Shepard pulling on a shirt and moving on to his boots, "What if he just don't want to come off as a creep?" 

Shepard let out a haughty laugh, "That would be a first!" 

"Hey, there's a first for everything." She winked. 

Shepard nodded but didn't answer, "You gonna come? or you gonna stay here and wait for James?" 

"I'm gonna stick around for a little while." Jack said with a wide grin. 

Shepard downed the rest of his drink, "Good luck with it." And then he slipped out of the dressing room, and out to the street. 

"About time." Kaidan said, leaning up against the wall outside. 

"Kaidan." Shepard startled and laughed a little nervously, "I thought you left." 

"Well, I didn't." Kaidan just stated, "You need a lift?" 

"Uhm... sure." Shepard zipped his hoodie up, and walked after Kaidan to the motorbike. "That is a sweet bike. Not something you see around here." 

"It's made on Earth." Kaidan said, running a hand down the side of the bike, "There is nothing quite like it anywhere." 

"Pretty flashy for a P.I ain't it?" Shepard asked, pocketing his hands in lack of other things to do.

"Yeah, but I just couldn't give it up." Kaidan got on, and gestured for Shepard to get up behind him. He smiled as Shepard wrapped his arms around his waist. Yeah it felt right! "So where to Commander?" 

Shepard laughed, giving Kaidan the address of where his one room apartment was. 

Kaidan frowned, "That is Batarian territory." 

"I know." Shepard just said, not offering more of an explanation. 

~*~

They made it to Shepard's building, and Shepard was almost reluctant to let go, he could get used to sitting behind Kaidan on this machine. "Thanks. - Again." Shepard said as he slipped off the bike and stood on the solid ground. Kaidan didn't get off the bike, which only made Shepard even more certain that Kaidan was just humoring him for shits and giggles. God he was so confused. 

"You're welcome." Kaidan said, turning around looking at Shepard. He looked much better without the obnoxious skimpy outfit he was dancing in, when you saw him like this it was hard to believe that he would turn into a gold sparkling Greek God by nightfall. He just looked like any other fella, still hot, maybe not as dirty hot, but more like cute hot. Kaidan didn't mind either. "Hey John." He said as Shepard was about to turn and leave. "When do you have some time off?" 

"Yeah?" Shepard turned around and expecting to hear Kaidan to ask if he could come with him upstairs. But instead he asked when he was off next. He could hardly tell him that vacation was not for people like him. "Any day between nine in the morning and seven in the evening." 

Kaidan raised a brow, "You work from eight to six." 

"I know." 

"Every day?" Kaidan asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer, it was like some strange puzzle pieces that he couldn't make fit.

"Every day." Shepard repeated. "Why you asking?" 

Kaidan let his suspicions slip and smiled, "Cause I wanted to ask you out, so Dinner is out of the question, so what about brunch?" 

"What the hell is brunch?" Shepard laughed nervously, not sure he should have said that, maybe it was something all people on Earth knew. And he had just come off like a huge uneducated idiot.

"Breakfast and lunch in one." Kaidan just said with a shrug.

"Oh... oh I get it, alright; well in that case, I'd love to." Shepard smiled shyly, not something Kaidan ever thought he'd see. "Good night, morning... whatever." Shepard said, turning around and walking towards his door. 

"Tomorrow?" Kaidan called. 

Shepard turned around again, almost at his door. "Sure." 

"I'm gonna pick you up here okay?" Kaidan yelled. "What apartment?" 

"154F" Shepard said scratching his neck nervously. 

"Check," Kaidan smiled, "Tomorrow then." 

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times! ^^ - Remember the warnings tho! 
> 
> Betaed by E.J.
> 
> I promise you a ending everyone can deal with, how about that? ;)

Shepard waited in front of his building, pretty sure that Kaidan wouldn't show, He was surprised when he actually did, and as he had promised, he had taken them to a nice restaurant. He handed Shepard a menu card, and he ordered something with a professional expression, at least he knew how to do this, he had been company at many a party, usually he would have been told beforehand what he could order, and what topics he could talk about. Here he was on his own. 

After a little hesitation Shepard put down his fork and looked over at Kaidan, "Is Earth really as beautiful as it is on the holos?" He laughed nervously, "My parents used to tell me stories from Earth, but honestly then my imagination didn't do the holos justice... so...” 

"It's better." Kaidan said with a smile. 

"I'd love to see it someday." Shepard says with a dreamy smile and reaches for his soft drink. 

"So where you from?" Kaidan asked, "Here?" He smiled before continuing with his meal.

"You already know that don't you?" Shepard argued annoyed.

"Nope." Kaidan admitted, okay so it was a lie, but Shepard didn't have to know that. "You are not who I am looking for, so I don't have your background. I could look into it I guess, but I'd much rather hear it from you." 

Shepard raised a brow, not sure what to think. "I am from Mindoir, a colony out in the Attican Traverse." His voice became nothing but a whisper. "I was born there; my parents were from earth, looking for new frontiers and all that. Farmers, both them and me. Well pretty much everyone around there was." 

"I have a hard time to imagine you as a farmer." Kaidan chuckled.

"Yeah well...” Shepard shrugged, pushing the empty plate away from him, signaling he was full. "I was good at it." He smiled mostly to himself. "I wouldn't mind doing it again someday. You know owning my own little lot and grow food, and flowers." His smile widened as he imagined all the things he would grow if he could. 

"What happened? I mean, why aren't you back there doing what you love, instead of this." He gestured out in front of him, "Omega must be a really sad place to be stuck if you like nature." 

Shepard inhaled sharply, looking at Kaidan. Taking a leap of faith he leaned in over the table, resting his chin on his knuckles. "The Batarians happened." He stated. "Spent some time in Jalnor on Lorek, getting...” He paused, "Repurposed, or reassigned, or whatever you want to call it." 

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kaidan whispered. "I didn't know that." 

"Bullshit." Shepard huffed, but smiled none the less. 

"Honestly I didn't know." Kaidan said, and he didn't. Well he had known that Shepard's colony had been hit by Batarian slavers, but not that they had actually captured him. 

"Could have been worse." Shepard said with an innocent face, leaning back into his chair, trying to hide a yawn.

"Suppose it could." Kaidan said, "Hey how much sleep did you get?" 

"Hmm, two hours I'd reckon." Shepard answered, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean -”

"You should get home and catch some more shuteye," Kaidan said, "Come on, I'll take you home. Wait for me by the bike and I'll pay this." 

"Alright," Shepard yawned again, and got up, "Thank you, it was a nice meal." He said as he walked past Kaidan. 

Kaidan flagged down a waiter as soon as Shepard was out the door, and quickly went on his omnitool, looking to back the info up that Shepard had given him. He didn't know if he should congratulate himself for following his instinct, or weep for Shepard. But it was pretty easy to find out that the dancers and escorts that were available in the Plastique were gracefully out sourced by Groto Ib-ba, mercenary and fucking bastard. So Groto was the one who owned Shepard, that made sense, he thought he had seen a weird looking mark on Shepard when he had gotten him into bed that night. But since he had kept the pants on, he hadn't seen what it was. It would of course be a slavers brand. Like you did to cattle on earth! The thought made him slightly sick. But on the other hand, Groto was directly connected to Saren, according to Kaidan's intel at least, so he had found the fucking pot of gold; hit the jackpot, whatever winning the lottery! Shepard was the man, he would know where Groto was, and through him could ferret out where Saren was. Only thing was that he actually felt bad for Shepard, he didn't want to use him like this. He liked him, he seemed empathetic, intelligent and so fucking hot it should be illegal. Maybe if he just went along a little? work and fun did sometimes fall into your lap in the same package, and this was just one of those situations.

Paying for the brunch he joined Shepard at the bike, and took him back to the depressing looking housing unit where he apparently lived. Shepard slid off and stretched his back, "I guess that's it...” He hesitated a little, biting his lip. 

Kaidan turned the bike's engine off and turned to Shepard, "If you want it to be." He said with a smirk, if there was something he knew how to do as well as Shepard, it was to never give away what you were thinking. He was playing a game of chess with really high stakes, and if Shepard told him to fuck off now, which Kaidan halfway thought he would, then all would be lost.

"When are you leaving Omega?" Shepard asked, looking at Kaidan with an expressionless face.

"Don't know." Kaidan said, "Soon I hope, but Marlowe turned out to be harder to locate than I thought. I am beginning to think he ain't here at all." He folded his arms over his chest.

"Oh." Shepard fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. 

"Are you gonna invite me up?" Kaidan asked with a soft tone, "Or are you waiting for me to beg?" 

Shepard's smile grew, "You can beg if you want to." 

"I'm not in the begging business," He leered, "I'd much rather hear you beg." 

In contrast to what Kaidan had thought of Shepard, the other man blushed a little, "That depends if you have something worth begging for." Shepard shot back, starting to walk towards the front door of the unit. 

Kaidan laughed and followed, "Oh I do." 

~*~ 

Kaidan tried to ignore how dingy this place looked, Shepard led him down through corridors and stairs until he stopped and punched in a ten digit code on the door. the door swooshed open, Shepard reached in to turn on the light when Kaidan grabbed his wrist, Shepard's breath hitched as he was pushed into the dark room, and Kaidan's arm wrapped around his chest, he let his head fall back as Kaidan's hand rested on his throat, as he swallowed hard he could feel his Adam’s apple pressed down slightly by the weight of the hand.

Freeing Shepard's hand Kaidan kept his light hold on Shepard's throat; he could feel the slightly shorter man's heart hammer in his chest drumming up through his arm. The free hand he rested on the outside of Shepard's jeans, feeling the heat of an erection through the fabric. He had read Shepard right, it had been a massive gamble that he liked it rough, but Kaidan figured that the silent attraction they had to each other had to come from somewhere, maybe he had read Kaidan too? "You like it like this, don't you?" Kaidan breathed in Shepard's ear, licking the outline of the shell. 

Shepard swallowed again, "Yes." He croaked out in a whisper. 

Kaidan smiled against Shepard's ear, "Good." He purred, gently turning Shepard around so they were eye to eye. "Arms up." He whispered.

Shepard raised his arms obediently letting Kaidan pull off his shirt, and when it came to his pants he stepped out of those like nothing. Kaidan shrugged off his jacket and pulled his shirt over his head, grapping Shepard's waist, pulling him close again, rubbing his clothed erection against Shepard's naked one. When Shepard gasped softly, Kaidan saw his opportunity to kiss him, a firm grip on the back of buzz cut head, invading Shepard's mouth marveled at how sweetly he yielded, and in the back of his mind he knew he should not get lost in Shepard's obvious submission, and keep a cool head. But on the other side, all the other people he had ever kissed in the world should have taken notes from Shepard. 

Kaidan ended the kiss, grinning at Shepard who looked just as hot and bothered as he felt. "Bed." Kaidan just said sweetly, letting go of the shorter man completely. 

Shepard made his way to the bed, "The boots?" He asked as he sat down on the narrow one person bed. 

"Leave them on." Kaidan said kneeling down between Shepard's feet, and with a firm hand he pushed Shepard back in the bed. He smiled as Shepard's cock twitched when he grabbed his hips and pulled him closer. Kaidan pushed Shepard's legs up towards his chest, "Hold." He commanded. 

Hooking his hands behind his knees and held his legs up and out, Shepard closed his eyes biting his lip as he felt Kaidan's soft breath against his ass, firm hand's spreading his cheeks apart, an eager tongue and expert fingers worked him open, his thighs were shaking, and his grip slipping. It had been so, so long since anyone had touched him like that, and he knew it was selfish that he wanted this before Kaidan would disappear out into the Galaxy again. As rough fingertips brushed against Shepard's prostate relentlessly, he gave in to pleasure and pushed down on Kaidan's fingers as much as he could. He was already panting and Kaidan had not touched his cock once. "Please." Shepard purred, knowing that it was the magic word Kaidan wanted to hear.

"Please what?" Kaidan whispered huskily before tracing the base of Shepard's erection with his tongue. 

"God, please fuck me." 

"No God here." Kaidan said in a dead serious tone, reaching up to pinch one of Shepard's nipples, while finger-fucking him a little harder, making Shepard arch off the mattress.

Shepard opened his eyes but closed them shot as a moan ripped through his body. "J-just." 

Kaidan chuckled and pushed off the bed, looking down at Shepard. "You are beautiful like that, you know." He mused, opening his pants to let his own erection free. "Hold on to your legs for me." Kaidan mumbled, positioning himself for entering the quivering, ready body below him. 

Opening his eyes once more Shepard looked up at Kaidan, who was actually quite a lot more vocal than he had thought, he wasn't complaining though, he thought that Kaidan's voice was like liquid sex, and it was just better that it was laced with passion. 

Kaidan stopped and hooked Shepard's legs up over his shoulders, "Be a good boy and hands over your head, and trust me." Kaidan whispered softly, kissing Shepard's slightly swollen lips. 

Shepard did as he was told, he reached up over his head and left them there, even if he would much rather run his hands down Kaidan's sides, he looked soft and warm. When one of Kaidan's hands pinned his hands to the mattress he wasn't really surprised, Kaidan's thrusts were hard and deep, and Shepard didn't think that he would last long with that pace. 

Pinching a nipple again with his free hand, Kaidan smiled as Shepard moaned needy. "Trust me." Kaidan moaned, and he knew that Shepard most likely had no idea what he meant, not until Kaidan's hand found its way back to Shepard's throat, holding on this time, pushing slightly down. Enough so Shepard opened his eyes wide and looked at Kaidan. "Relax J-John, just - let it hap-pen." He squeezed a little tighter but not so tight it should be uncomfortable, watching Shepard closely as he leaned down a little moaning, his hair undoing itself wet with sweat tips, dangling on Shepard's lips. "Oh fuck you're gorgeous." Kaidan felt Shepard relax and dig his blunt nails down into his hand as confusion and fear was exchanged with lust again. 

Shepard didn't want to relax, but his body didn't care when his rational mind tried to overwrite his lust addled brain. And when he felt heat start to spread up his spine, and he desperately wished that Kaidan would never stop. He heard Kaidan whisper "That's right, relax." in a hoarse voice. Shepard wasn't sure what was more of a turn on, the mix of shame and lust that struggled inside him, or the fact that he felt completely had, there was no part of his being that wasn't controlled by Kaidan. Shepard could hear his own muffled broken moan, as the dull heat turned into steady build-up that he knew would end in an explosion of intense pleasure. 

Kaidan worked harder at getting them both off as he heard Shepard's throaty restrained moans become more desperate, and just when they turned into a hoarse whispered "yes-yes-yes-yes. Oh God... Fuck yes," he could feel Shepard tremble and he increased the pressure on Shepard's wrists, throat and drove into the shivering body harder knowing that Shepard's expression alone would undo him completely in a moment. Shepard opened his eyes, his pupils totally blown and unseeing as he climaxed. Kaidan couldn't resist the feeling of Shepard spasming around him, and joined him in his orgasm. 

Shepard was gasping for breath as Kaidan rolled off him. He wasn't quite sure what to feel, he couldn't recall he had ever climaxed that hard, it had been absolutely mind-blowing. Excellent sex didn't even come close, but damn he could have asked him, couldn't he? "You asshole." He croaked, rubbing his sore throat, "You could have asked." 

"What? I thought you wanted it like that." Kaidan stated while catching his breath on the mattress next to Shepard. "You didn't stop me. And if you are telling me you didn't like it, you're a liar." 

Shepard sighed, "It was fucking amazing." Shepard whispered with a guilty wince, "Still you could have asked." 

"Yes." Kaidan sighed, "I'm sorry. Truly I am. I just read the situation wrong." He placed a warm hand on Shepard's sticky stomach. "Forgive me?" 

Shepard laid a hand on top of Kaidan's, "It's fine." He whispered, worried that Kaidan's hand would leave a bruise that he couldn't conceal at the club. He rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom; he turned on the light and looked at his throat, and right enough an angry red imprint of a hand on his skin. "Shit." He cursed at his own mirror image. He hadn't heard Kaidan getting out of bed until he stood in the doorframe to the bathroom. "You gonna be in trouble?" 

"Maybe." Shepard admitted, and self-consciously covered his brand below his hipbone with his hand. 

"I saw it." Kaidan said softly, gently removing Shepard's hand from the brand, and moved behind Shepard, resting his chin on the shorter man's shoulder, wrapping his arms lovingly around Shepard's waist. "I still think you are gorgeous." 

Shepard opened his mouth to say something but just closed it, and instead joined his hands with Kaidan's staring at their reflection in the mirror. "I wonder if I could ask you a favor?" He licked his lips, "Before you leave Omega." He tried to smile but it never made it to his eyes. 

"Sure." Kaidan said softly, "For you, John. Anything." He kissed Shepard's neck. "What do you say we clean up and get dressed before we talk business?" 

Shepard felt an insane giggle bubbling up inside. "Sure." He just chuckled and shook his head amused.

~*~

Shepard placed a mug of coffee in front of Kaidan, who sat in the bed, since the apartment didn't have any other furniture than the bed, a large monitor and a dresser. No chairs no tables, it spoke of Shepard's needs when he was here, sleep, quick meal and a bath. "So." Shepard said leaning against the dresser, "The bartender, Garrus." 

"The Turian?" 

"Yep." Shepard nodded, "He is like a brother to me. But he has a bad gambling habit, and while you'd think that Turians were pretty good at this whole 'pokerface' thing, he lost large amounts of money." He took a sip of his coffee, feeling a little weird selling his friend out like this. "Thing is that he didn't stop gambling, he just borrowed money from more or less shady people... Alright so very shady people." 

"I am good at finding people, not erasing gambling debt, John." Kaidan said, turning the mug in his hands.

"Just hear me out." Shepard said, scratching his throat where the hand imprint was hopefully gone by now. "I need to get him off Omega or something bad will happen to him. In my line of services you hear a lot of things and know nothing." He smiled at himself and continued. "I am not asking you to take him with you to Earth. But Garrus has a father, a sister and a brother still on Palaven. Could you perhaps, uhm... track them down or something so I could get him aboard a ship for Palaven or somewhere close by. Garrus needs to reconnect with his family and go back home, he deserves better than this." 

A long silence stretched, Kaidan thinking to himself that it should be fairly easily to find them if he had a surname. "What about you? Do you think you deserve this?" 

"It is what it is." Shepard said cryptically. 

"Come now, I thought you wanted to see Earth, you can't wait for your master to relocate you there." Kaidan said getting a little more upset than he should.

"I accepted long ago that I will never grow anything again, or ever see Earth," Shepard shrugged, "So will you help me to help Garrus?" 

"I suppose so." Kaidan said with a little nod, "If you will answer me truthfully where Marlowe is, I know that you know. As you say, people like you hear everything and know nothing." He put the coffee down in the windowsill and crossed his arms over his chest watching Shepard.

Shepard felt his heart twitch in a strange way, he wasn't sad, or upset, he was just disappointed. And not even in Kaidan, he should have expected this from him; he did come here to Omega and to Plastique with an agenda after all. "Alright." Shepard said strained. "Marlowe is not on Omega, he has been with Saren Arterius and Groto Ib-ba out on a business trip to see Edan Had'dah somewhere in Kite's nest. They are expected back one of these days. And that is what I know." Shepard looked pale and drained, knowing that if anyone ever learned that he had said this, his only option is to pray for a quick death. 

"Is that brand Groto's?" Kaidan asked bluntly.

"Yes." Shepard answered coolly. "Edan Had'dah owns a bunch of clubs and brothels around the Milky Way, Plastique is just one of them, I am pretty sure you can figure out the rest on your own." 

"So Groto is leasing you out to Edan?" Kaidan pulled a disgusted expression even if he tried not to, he didn't want Shepard to be offended more than he already was. 

"Exactly." Shepard said with a tiny shrug, "So you promise to help Garrus?" 

"I promise." Kaidan said holding a hand out to Shepard, which Shepard ignored. 

"Just go." Shepard said deflated, "You got what you came for." 

"Hey wait, it was not like that!" Kaidan argued, getting to his feet, "This, us.. the sex, don't think that it was just to - uhm get to you or something." Kaidan looked at Shepard's hard expression with a pleading look. "I think you are great, and.. oh.. You know what I mean." 

"Sure." Shepard said, just staring at Kaidan coldly. "Now get out, please." He gestured towards the door. 

"What about.. what about a lift to the club? it's the least I can do." Kaidan said, hating the pitiful tone to his words, this was not what he had wanted. 

"I know how to get there on my own." Shepard stated. 

~*~

Kaidan wasn't really surprised when James told him that Shepard was not at the club when he came by later. He left without arguing with James, because Kaidan could -tell- that Shepard was lurking in there in the dark somewhere. And he cursed himself that he had pushed for that information, there had had to have been a better way to get it. Maybe not a faster way, but there must have been a way without hurting Shepard, and driving a wedge down between them, now that Kaidan was just getting used to the pretty smile and all that goddamn glitter. He would just have to wait some days, maybe dig into the Vakarian family whereabouts like he had promised. Maybe if he upholds his promise then Shepard would at least speak to him. 

Two days later Kaidan returned, James shook his head again, but Kaidan just smiled, "I am not here for Shepard, I need to talk to Garrus." 

"Garrus?" Wrex growled, "What do you want from him?" 

"Business, Private investigator, remember?" Kaidan said with an overbearing sigh. 

"Alright." James said and just ushered Kaidan through the door and directly to the bar. "Hey Garrus, this fella says he has something for you, something business related." 

Garrus closed his eyes and sighed, "I have no money." He just said automatically. 

"It's not about that." Kaidan said, "It's about your father." 

"My dad? What then?.." Garrus leaned in over the bar, watching as Kaidan eased up on a stool. "James please.. We're good." 

Kaidan watched James leave and then looked back on Garrus. "I was asked to locate your lost family for you, and I have the location on your siblings’ houses, your dad's house, even their numbers. They are yours, and you should maybe talk to Shepard about the rest." Kaidan transferred the intel he had on the Vakarians to Garrus omnitool. 

"You did it." Shepard said from the dark and empty dance floor, walking slowly over to the bar, he was dressed in his dancing attire. 

"You set him up to this nonsense Shepard?" Garrus asked annoyed, "Why would you do that, man?" 

"Because you need to leave Omega, and you know it." Shepard said coming to a standstill next to Kaidan at the bar, before he surprisingly gracefully jumped up on the desk. 

"Damn, Shepard! Now I got that glitter crap all over the bar." Garrus whined, pulling three glasses making them a drink each. 

"Shut up Garrus." Shepard laughed, "I'm sure you could double charge for sitting at my butt imprint." He chuckled until he got eye contact with Kaidan, then his laughter died, and he looked back at Garrus. "Please Garrus, you should be back with your family, you don't have to be here." 

"Well my father and I didn't exactly part on the best terms, and -" 

"I'm sure he forgives you." Shepard said motherly, "That is what family is for." 

Kaidan just looked from Shepard to Garrus and back again, not sure what to say, or if he should say anything at all. All he could really think about was those long muscular legs next to him, dangling off the ledge of the bar. Just some days ago they were wrapped trembling over his shoulders. 

"Maybe - " Garrus mumbles, downing his drink. "But you still should have stayed out of my family business." 

"Garrus, please." Shepard said, "You are the closest to a brother I have, and I am asking you, no I'm begging you! To be on a ship out for Palaven within the week. We both know what the Bloodpack does to people who owe them money, right?" 

"Right." Garrus sighed. "But what about you? I can't leave you here and just go back home and play family." 

"Please," Shepard resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "I survived the Mindoir massacre, I survived Jalnor and I survived your horrible cooking, I will be fine." 

Garrus huffed half annoyed, half amused. 

"Just fucking do it Garrus. You have a shot at a new beginning, you should take it." Shepard leaned in as he put more pressure on the Turian, "If I had somewhere to go, you'd be damn sure I'd go. Nothing is keeping you here. Let Kaidan find you a ship out of here that shuttles as close to Palaven as you can get." 

"You better come visit me." Garrus said without any bite, he knew that it was a dangerous thing that Shepard had done, if any of those who he owed money got wind of that it was Shepard who had gotten him off Omega, he would be in big trouble. And he knew that Shepard would never come to Palaven, but that didn't mean that he didn't want him to. 

"So you will do it? You promise Garrus, you fucking promise me!" Shepard grabbed Garrus' wrist to force the Turian to look at him. 

"Jeesh Shepard, I promise!" Garrus snatched his hand back and rubbed his wrist. 

"Good." Shepard said with a sad smile. 

"I really should get going." Kaidan finally said, "Thanks for the drink Garrus." He slid from the stool and looked up at Shepard, "Hey could we perhaps, uhm talk or something?" 

"Get off my bar, you sparkly idiot!" Garrus pushed Shepard down from the bar, he landed on his feet next to Kaidan on the floor. 

"I don't see why not." Shepard sighed, "Come on we can go out by the back door, we should have some privacy there." 

"Hey Shep -" Jack called from the dressing room, and stopped mid-sentence when she saw Kaidan, "Well hello there Sailor.. who's your new friend Shepard?" 

"Jack." Shepard gave her a hard glare in a naïve hope to shut her up. 

Jack looked the two men over, "You totally fucked him, didn't you?" She asked bluntly, making Kaidan blush much against his will, and Shepard groan. "So he was that guy you talk -" 

"Enough Jack!" Shepard snarled, "Maybe, just maybe.. okay? leave it for now." 

Jack chuckled, "Fine, Have a good one gentlemen." She winked at Kaidan.

~*~

Outside Kaidan started chuckling, "Who's your crude friend?" 

"Jack." Shepard just said, not offering more. "So what did you want to talk about?" 

Kaidan held his hands up as were he surrendering, "You're pissed at me, I get it. I was wrong, I made a bunch of bad calls that day and I wanted to get an opportunity to show you that I really am sorry, and that I honestly do like you, and wish that we could just rewind all that shit." 

Shepard just stared at him, hands on his hips waiting for Kaidan to talk in a standoffish manner.

"So could we try with a new brunch? maybe? Please?" Kaidan stepped towards Shepard with arms out to the side and a wide smile. 

"I don't see what for." Shepard shrugged before he unbuttoned his shorts and pulled the side down to flash his brand. "And that is why, It's completely pointless to lead you on, you and I can never have anything with each other, my master will see to that." 

"John." Kaidan argued with a slight whine.

"Oh I'm sorry, does that make you uncomfortable?" He buttoned his pants back up, "Truth is that I enjoyed your company, but you have what you need, and so do I. So no Kaidan, I won't go out with you, I will go back into the club and hope I am not in too much trouble already. Good luck with the Marlowe thing." He smiled swiftly and punched the code in for the backdoor. "See you around, yeah?" 

Kaidan just stood and stared at Shepard, not knowing what to say, or how to make him stay. And before he knew it Shepard was gone and there was nothing but the door. "Wait!" He finally said, but it was much too late. Okay that did it! I would just have to get them all! Saren and Groto both. He would get a shitload of money and Shepard would be free, it would be a goddamn bulletproof plan was it not for the fact that he couldn't even locate those bastards. 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betaed by E.J.

Shepard could hardly believe he was actually doing this, he had been looking over his shoulder all the way here, trying to make sure that no one noticed him, keeping his hood down and staying to side alleys. At one point he had been sure that he had been followed but either he was just being paranoid, or they had given up. He slipped into Kaidan's hotel; he nodded at the portier and smiled professionally. "Room 21." He said.

The portier shook his head, "Mr. Alenko is out." 

"I'm early then?" Shepard put on a shocked face, "But I was told to be here at four sharp," He leaned in over the desk, "Look, can't you just let me into his room, I can't go back already, and I'm quite sure you don't want me to change clothes here in the foyer." 

The portier paled and then just nodded, scribbled the door code down on a piece of paper, "This could get me fired, you know." He whispered.

"I owe you one, man." Shepard flashed a bright smile and snatched the note and hurried up the stairs to Kaidan's room. He let himself in, and sat down with a sigh on the soft bed. Letting himself fall back into the mattress he closed his eyes with a soft smile; he was so tired that it felt mostly like falling down into a deep hole. 

When Kaidan came back he was more than a little surprised to see a figure sleeping on his bed. He had to walk all the way up to the bed to see who was hiding under the hood. "John?" He asked softly. Shepard smiled and grunted softly in his sleep, and even if Kaidan knew he really shouldn’t, he couldn't resist and carefully lay down next to Shepard in the bed and spooned up behind him. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you made it quite clear that you and I are done." Kaidan whispered, he knew his words were harsh, but he was not about to stand there like an idiot like he had outside the Plastique. 

"I know what I said," Shepard whispered, grabbing Kaidan's hand on his hip and pulled it up under his chin, like Kaidan was a blanket. "It - It, I'm sorry. I guess I freaked out." Shepard took a deep breath, "I know you are leaving soon, so I thought it was better that way." 

"What changed your mind?" Kaidan whispered.

"Garrus left, and two days later there were some Bloodpack at the club to look for whoever was responsible for smuggling him off Omega or anyone who knew where he was." Shepard said softly.

"And you come running here?" Kaidan asked a little more reserved, "You knew the risks when you asked me." 

"I did." Shepard rolled around on his back, forcing Kaidan to move back a little, Shepard turned his head and looked at Kaidan.

"So why -did- you come here?" Kaidan asked, not sure he wanted the answer, really.

"I wanted to see you one last time." Shepard said with a little smile that disappeared as quickly as it emerged. "You haven't been by the club so I thought I'd come see you." He turned his head and looked up into the ceiling, "Just tell me to go, and I'm gone." 

"I was just surprised that's all," Kaidan said snuggling closer to Shepard, he wasn't really about to admit that it had taken all his will power not to drop by the club, "I don't want you to leave." 

"Good." A smile ghosted over Shepard's lips again. "Hey Kaidan, when you go home, could you maybe send me a holo of earth? I lost the one I had ages ago." 

"Sure." Kaidan held Shepard a little tighter, "I still think you should go see it for yourself." 

"Maybe I will someday." Shepard said his voice lifeless and flat. 

"What about the Alliance? Don't they have an enlistment office on Omega?" Kaidan asked, "They'd pick up the tab, also you'd get to kill as many Batarian slavers as your heart desires." 

Shepard turned his head again and looked at Kaidan with a surprised expression, and then he laughed till he cried, Kaidan had to laugh too just because Shepard's laugh was contagious. "Me? An Alliance soldier? You say the funniest things Kaidan." Shepard laughed. 

"Stranger things have happened." Kaidan chuckled.

"Maybe," Shepard said, getting all serious again, "My dad was like anti violence, he always said that if we all would just concentrate on getting things to flourish and grow, that no one would have time to fight." Shepard chuckled a little at himself, "Ironic that he would be murdered, really." 

"The slavers killed him?" Kaidan asked softly, not sure if he should even ask.

"Yeah," Shepard said in a near whisper, "I was out in the orchard picking oranges when they attacked, we heard screaming and saw fire and ran towards the settlement, me and Steve," Shepard licked his lips, "Steve Strange was shot before we even made it to the settlement, I still don't know how I wasn't hit by a stray bullet, maybe something was looking out for me, in some fucked up way." 

"You ran there? Without any weapons? Weren't you scared?" Kaidan asked, slightly impressed by Shepard's courage.

"I did." Shepard smiled sadly to the ceiling, "Pretty dumb huh?" 

"Yeah." Kaidan said softly, "But what could you do?" 

"I could have run the opposite way and hid." Shepard said, "Lots of people did that." He paused again, "Of course the Batarians torched the barns and everything, so I suppose most of them died." 

"So what happened to you?" Kaidan asked, propping himself up on his elbow, looking at Shepard in the half-light of the hotel room.

"They shot me in my right leg, had a laugh, and then dragged me onto some shuttle." Shepard closed his eyes, "Most were kids my own age and younger, suppose they didn't care for old slaves or something." 

"How -” 

"Seventeen." Shepard said and opened his eyes again, just staring at Kaidan. "It is what it is." He whispered. 

Kaidan nodded weakly before he leaned down and kissed Shepard, he had not forgotten what it felt like to kiss Shepard, it had just dimmed a little in his memory, and when the kiss ended, his erection was uncomfortable, trapped behind his pants. 

"They're back on Omega," Shepard whispered, placing an openmouthed kiss on Kaidan's jaw, "Saren Arterius, Groto Ib-ba and Spike Marlowe." 

Pushing a hand up under Shepard's shirts, running his hand over the smooth skin he found there, "Was that what you came here to say?" He asked in a sigh as Shepard kissed that sweet spot under his ear.

"No." Shepard breathed; he didn't offer more of an explanation and just continued his sloppy kiss trail down Kaidan's neck. 

"Hey John...” Kaidan said seriously, wondering if he was going mad or something, why he couldn't just lay back and enjoy. He held Shepard with a hand on each side of his head. "I need to know." 

Shepard swallowed, studying Kaidan with his deep blue eyes. "Truth?" He whispered.

"Truth." Kaidan echoed.

"I was lonely." Shepard flashed another hesitant nervous smile. Kaidan rubbed a thumb over Shepard's eyebrow, and then pulled him down for another kiss; this was less of the soft yielding Shepard, more firm somehow, like Shepard knew what he wanted. And to Kaidan, even if he liked the submissive kisses, it seemed like there was more of John, and less of the performer. 

Shepard rolled on top of Kaidan, only to end the kiss and sit back up and unzipping his hoodie, tossing it unceremoniously over his back and the shirt went the same way. Kaidan reached up and ran his hands over Shepard's chest, before grabbing the hem of his own shirt and awkwardly pulling it over his head without sitting up. Shepard chuckled a little at the effort, but as soon as the shirt was off he leaned down and flicked his tongue on one of Kaidan's nipples, and then on to a kiss. "I trust you." Shepard whispered against Kaidan's lips. 

Kaidan's hands rested on Shepard's hips, ever so slowly moving across the soft skin of John's stomach to unbutton his pants, "I won't do it again." He whispered back.

Shepard rubbed against Kaidan through their pants, "Shame." 

"Are you sure?" Kaidan asked, watching as Shepard shimmied out of his pants, moving down lower on Kaidan's legs so he could open Kaidan's pants.

"I'm sure." Shepard smiled a dirty sweet smile that made Kaidan's heart skip a beat. 

Kaidan tried to hold Shepard's gaze, as if he was attempting to read the truth from Shepard's eyes, did he mean it, or did he just go along with it because he wanted to make Kaidan happy? His worry fled when Shepard closed his lips around Kaidan's erection; it was replaced with a respect for technique, wondering where he learned that. 

Shepard let Kaidan's cock slip out between his lips, and he looked down at Kaidan with a smile, "Lube?" 

Kaidan sighed, "No." He had just not thought of it, he hadn't exactly thought he would strike up a partner on Omega, and if he did, he would have paid them, and they'd bring their own goddamn lube. "Sorry," He offered meekly.

Looking thoughtful for a moment, Shepard then licked his lips, "It's fine." He whispered, crawling up Kaidan, wrapping his hand around both their erections, "We don't need it." grinding against Kaidan pulling a little moan from the other man.

Wrapping his arms around Shepard and reversing their roles, Kaidan kept the friction slow and tempting, loving the way that Shepard's breath would hitch, Shepard wrapped both arms around Kaidan's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. 

"This is nice." Shepard hummed, biting Kaidan's lip playfully, arching his back to increase the sweet friction.

"You are nice." Kaidan whispered back, smiling. 

"Nice?" Shepard chuckled, his voice deep and husky. 

"Gorgeous." Kaidan breathed in Shepard's ear. 

"Better." 

For a while Kaidan just listened to Shepard's low moans and little keening noises while he dug his nails down into Kaidan's shoulders. It felt a little strange, too close for comfort and intimate, it felt almost like they were actually lovers. And even if the reactions were less expressive than the last time they had ended up in bed together, they were still there, the way Shepard would suck in his breath in a reverse sort of sigh, and his legs shivered slightly. "Come on then." Kaidan whispered, and licked a wet trail along Shepard's jaw. 

Clinging to Kaidan, Shepard buried his face in Kaidan's shoulder, and gave in to the building tension inside and climaxed between their sweaty stomachs. He was still panting from the flash of pleasure as he felt Kaidan finish as well. Wordlessly they just fell back on the bed catching their breath. It took some silent moments before Shepard slowly sat up in the bed, scanning the room for his clothes. 

"Something wrong?" Kaidan asked stretching lazy, looking at Shepard's back.

"No." Shepard turned a little and smiled, "You should get some sleep, Kaidan." 

Kaidan popped up on an elbow studying Shepard, "Leaving?" 

Shepard arched his back, his spine giving off a soft pop as it settled. "I should get back." He reached for his pants, and pulled them on effortlessly. He didn't bother with tying his shoes, and just pulled his shirt over his head, standing at the foot of the bed, looking at Kaidan with a little soft, sad smile. "Since this is goodbye," Shepard said, "I suppose I can tell you that... That I had not expected this." 

"Expected what?" Kaidan sat up in bed; something in Shepard's tone alarmed him so much he didn't even really register the 'goodbye' part.

"That I'd like you this much." Shepard shrugged and when Kaidan opened his mouth to say something, Shepard held up his hand to silence him. "Thanks Kaidan." He smiled, "Don't forget to send me those holos." Shepard didn't kiss Kaidan goodbye or touch him one last time, he wasn't sure he could do that without embarrassing himself with declarations of love or choking up, either of the above would be nothing less than mortifying. 

"Hey John!" Kaidan reached out for Shepard, but didn't get off the bed, like he understood that John didn't need to be cornered right now. "Right back at you." 

Shepard swallowed hard, and pocked his hands, just to do something while he stood there feeling like a complete idiot. "In another life," He paused, "That would have meant uhm... something." He mumbled and for a moment he hated himself for coming here, what had he been thinking? Maybe he just hadn't, he had just wanted to see Kaidan before he was gone, and now here he was making a big idiot out of himself. 

When Shepard turned the handle of the door and opened it, Kaidan finally jolted into action. "I'm not gone yet you know." He said, "Maybe we could, go out again?" 

"Sure." Shepard said, smiling at Kaidan. The smile never reached his eyes, he didn't believe one word of it, but it sounded nice, it really did. "You know where to find me." 

Kaidan got out of bed when he saw Shepard hesitate, he stalked directly to the door and pushed it shut, pushing Shepard up against the door, pinning him down with his naked body. "Come with me." Kaidan said, before kissing Shepard who tensed up but didn't pull away. "I have enough money to bribe another shuttle captain." 

"Why would you -” Shepard's voice broke, "Do that?" 

"Because you don't belong here." Kaidan answered truthfully. "Please." 

Shepard let out a deep sigh, "If we are caught -” 

"We won't be." Kaidan said, running a thumb over Shepard's cheekbone gently. "Imagine seeing the sky again, or growing things, or having a drink out in the open watching the scenery. Something other than the metal body of this place." 

"That would be...” Shepard whispered, already seeing it in his head, wondering if he had finally gone mad, since he actually considered this ludicrous request. "But how would I -” 

"I -” Kaidan smiled, watching as Shepard's eyes gave away his hope and confusion in one. "I would take care of you." He smiled, kissing Shepard's cheek.

Shepard's eyes widened more before a tiny smile tugged in the corners of his mouth, "Is that a proposal, Alenko?" 

"Sorta...” Kaidan squirmed a little and then smiled too. "So will you consider it?" 

"Yes." Shepard whispered with a tiny nod. 

"I'll come pick you up in two days and you are either in or out." Kaidan said, his voice dropping to a whisper, "I hope you're in." 

Shepard wrapped his arms around Kaidan's waist and pulled him in for a kiss, "You better not be shitting me." He whispered against Kaidan's lips. "But -” He let go, and pushed Kaidan gently away, "I really have to go now." 

"Alright," Kaidan stepped back and let Shepard open the door to the corridor again, "Two days, John." 

"Two days." Shepard repeated, and hurried out into the corridor, slinking back into the shadows the same way he had when he had made his way over here.

~*~

Shepard made it to the dressing room, and thought he was home free. The staff was only now slowly meeting in; Jack nodded at him as she tried to pour a drink to ease her hangover. "James said you're in deep shit, John." She said softly. 

"Me?" Shepard said innocently, "He must have his information wrong." 

"Don't be an idiot." Jack turned around in her chair and watched at Shepard grabbed a towel and slipped into the tiny shower. "Pitbull is furious, because the bloodpack has been around asking for Garrus, and if he is furious you can bet he went up the chain of command, and with both Saren Arterius and Groto Ib-ba on Omega, you could be in deep, deep shit." 

"Why would I be in trouble because of Garrus?" Shepard asked, from the shower, hoping his voice was as even as he wanted it to be. "He had debt and got the fuck off this station. How can that be my fault?" 

"James said that this cop or whatever he is, came to talk to you and Garrus, and the day after Garrus was gone." Jack said, "They think that you know where he went." She paused to take a sip of her drink, "Rumors have it that - " She was cut short as the door to the corridor slammed open, and a large hulking man covered in tattoos barged through, "Shepard!" He bellowed.

"Here" Shepard said, turning off the water and stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist. He smiled politely as he saw Pitbull standing in the middle of the dressing room, looking madder than a bull. "Something wrong?" 

"Damn straight something's fucking wrong!" Pitbull spat, "Not only do I have to get myself a new bartender, but I have Groto on my case, asking for you." He narrowed his eyes, "Spill it Shepard, what the hell is going on!" 

"Why do people assume that I know anything about Garrus?" Shepard swiftly pulled the dancing shorts on, and lost the towel, "As I told Jack, he had debt, and he ran. Any idiot would have done that, if I really had anything to do with it, would I still be here? I don't think so." He shrugged. 

Pitbull grabbed Shepard by the neck and slammed him up against the wall, holding him up so high that Shepard had to stand on his toes to not get choked. "There is also another rumor." He growled, "One that you are fraternizing with the enemy." 

"Wh-at?" Shepard gurgled, clawing at Pitbull's large hand. 

"That little lawman you've been fucking, he is not a cop." Pitbull said his smile widened when he saw the raw confusion on Shepard's face. "He had told Vega that he was a Private Investigator, is that the same story he told you?" Pitbull laughed, "Before or after you put out, you little fucking slut." He eased up on his hold and let Shepard stand on the ground, rubbing his abused throat. "Come on, there is someone here to see you." Pitbull grabbed Shepard's arm and forcefully hauled him out into the corridor, up the stairs to his office overlooking the dance floor. He pushed the slightly panicky Shepard into the room in front of him. 

Shepard almost fell over, but regained his balance, only to stare right up at three pairs of eyes. He looked over his shoulder and saw Pitbull go stand in the corner. He wanted to say something but his lips refused to cooperate. 

"Shepard." Groto said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Shepard caught on a second too late; he had not seen his master in two years. But a boot to his stomach reminded him as he fell to his knees, ignoring the sick sound it made as they hit the floor. "Master." He said loud and clear, hoping that would be enough so he wouldn't get kicked once more. What the hell were Groto and Saren doing here? One thing was Groto being an asshole, but Saren? He only came here to get special treatment when he happened to be on Omega, he didn't - Shepard closed his eyes tight, holding his breath. This was bad, he just knew it.

"Better." Groto huffed and stepped back, letting Saren step forward, circling Shepard on the floor. "I'm not surprised that he picked you." Saren said, "You are a nice piece of ass, and I have met smarter rocks on Thessia. Perfect." Saren sighed and stopped circling Shepard. "Stand." 

Shepard winched as his knees complained as he stood. Saren fucking scared him, always had. He was like a goddamn God in armor, what he said, went. He was sure that Saren could have entire colonies wiped off the map with a snap of his fingers. 

"You are a dumb little hooker." Saren chuckled. "He played you well; I have to give him that - He's persistent." 

Shepard didn't argue, he just focused on breathing in and breathing out, and not making any wrong moves that you piss off anyone. He knew that it was his best chance at getting out of here alive. 

"Look at me," Saren said, lifting Shepard's head with a surprisingly gentle finger under Shepard's chin. "Kaidan Alenko, he is not who he says he is, I have seen him do this to others in an attempt to get within range. So tell me little man, what lies did he tell you?" 

Shepard swallowed hard; he was quite sure that no one would lie to Saren and live, "Sorry?" He whispered, his voice shaking. 

Saren laughed "He is not a cop, an agent, or an undercover Spectre, or any of the shit he made all the ones like you believe." Saren tilted his head a little and stared at Shepard, "You don't believe me? Last time it was an Asari hooker on Illium, she died defending that Alenko was a secret agent. So what is it gonna be little man?" 

"Pri-vate." Shepard licked his lips nervously, "Investigator." 

"Oh that's a good one." Saren laughed amused, "P.I. Kaidan Alenko, so just out of curiosity, what did he promise you if you could lead him to me?" 

"He was looking for Marlowe." Shepard said, still not sure he was out of the woods yet, even if he told the truth. He wasn't even sure what truth was the actual truth. Kaidan's or Saren's. 

"Marlowe has been dead for the better side of a year, little man." Saren leaned in so close that Shepard could feel his breath on his skin, "But you didn't know that, did you? I assure you that Alenko did before he told you whatever story." Saren pulled back and moved around Shepard, placing a hand on each of Shepard's shoulders, squeezing them slightly. "I'll try again, and you better get this right. He is a bounty hunter; he has tagged along through the entire goddamn galaxy. He is a ruthless man, and if he wasn't my enemy I would admire him and offer him a job. He does whatever he thinks necessary, nothing stands between him and the bounty. He killed Marlowe, and countless others. - So, Shepard." Saren squeezed tighter, to the point of Shepard yelping softly as his nails broke the skin. "What did you tell him?" 

"That you weren't on Omega." Shepard said, flexing his hands, trying to ignore the pain in his shoulders, and the odd wet feeling of blood tickling down his chest. Saren dug his nails in deeper causing Shepard to groan in pain, "And that you would return shortly." He closed his eyes, "I swear, that was all." 

"Maybe you are smarter than a rock." Saren removed his hands, grabbing Shepard's neck, forcing him to his knees again. 

When Shepard heard the distinct sound of a weapon's safety being clicked off, he shut his eyes tight, "I swear!" He cried.

Saren calmly placed the muzzle of the gun on the back of Shepard's head. "I believe you," He said, "But truth is that I am tired of him showing up at the most inconvenient times, and it ends here." He ground the gun into Shepard's head, "Where is he at?" Saren's voice rose to an angry bark, "In what flea ridden hotel does that little shit hide?" 

"Sequin!" Shepard yelled, finally giving in to despair and panic. "He's at the goddamn Sequin." 

"Hey!" Groto argued, "If you shoot him, you better compensate me." 

"You can fucking bill me!" Saren bit back, replacing his hand with his boot, pushing Shepard's face down into the ground, aiming at him with the gun. 

"Sirs?" Pitbull peeped from the corner, "I should remind you both that Edan Had'dah is very pleased with this one’s performance, he is good for business, it would be a shame to waste his talents for something as trivial as a bounty hunter." 

Saren sighed and stepped off Shepard who didn't dare to move. "True." Saren admitted, "It's your lucky day little man." 

"Get up." Groto barked, "And get to work." 

Shepard scrambled to his feet, thankful to feel an arm steady him, surprised to find Pitbull holding him up. "Thanks," Shepard whispered as he was guided out of the room. 

"Don't thank me yet." Pitbull said, "And you really are a dumb whore if you think I did it for your baby blues." 

"Still." 

Pitbull guided Shepard back to the dressing room and dropped him off in a chair, he held out Shepard's hand and placed two Hallex pills in it, "Down those, and cover up those marks, and get up on your pole station, and be quick about it." 

Shepard just nodded and closed his hand around the pills, leaning back in the chair. He should have known it was bullshit, all his red lights had gone off over Kaidan, but still he had chosen to believe it, because he wanted to. He should have known! Shepard bit his lip, he didn't want to cry like a girl, people like him didn't cry, but against his will his eyes still watered up. "Fuck," He whispered to himself, and tossed the two pills in his mouth. He wanted to forget any childish dream about Earth, about seeing the sky again, about Kaidan and him having drinks in a garden, surrounded by real living plants. It had all just been bullshit to make Shepard play along, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it made perfect sense. Kaidan had just strung him along, he had had all information he wanted about him. He had probably even paid those two Blue Suns to drug him so he could come out looking like a hero. 

The second that he had started to believe, had been the second he had lost the game, set and match. 

 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading along =) I really appreciate every comment and kudos.

When Shepard went out the dressing room and aimed towards his station, he was all struts, sparkles and smiles. Though his thoughts were scattered and dark, fuck Earth, he thought to himself, trying to take heart in the appraising crowd, his eyes searched the room, and he looked up at the V.I.P booth where he saw both Saren and Groto with a drink, they were still here so he better bring his A-game and remind them why this club needed him. 

Groto blinked, watching as Shepard got up to his pole like nothing. "So what do you propose we do about this bounty hunter?" 

Saren sighed, "Maybe we can make that pissant down there do the work for us, he is all smiles now, but I could feel him tremble earlier, he is scared out of his mind." 

"Of course he is." Groto said, "But he's a resilient little bastard, John Shepard." 

Saren nodded, "But what if we can make him flush out Alenko for us?" 

"You'd think that would work?" Groto asked surprised, "You said it yourself, this Alenko is ruthless, why would he risk being exposed at the expense of one little dancer, no matter how tempting he might be." 

"I lied." Saren said with a shrug. "Alenko has never used personal means to get close to me; usually he will kill and bribe his way. So it's pretty safe to assume that he might have something like an attachment to this dancer." 

"You mean real affection?" 

"I do," Saren said holding out his glass to have a servant fill it again. "Now we have something that he wants, question is how bad does he want it?" Saren gestured towards Shepard below them, "Bad enough that he would come out of hiding and walk straight into a trap?" 

"Oh I like the sound of that." Groto cheered. 

~*~

Jack was furious that she had been chosen for this task, she watched the city of Omega flash by outside the cab, she was awfully tempted to open the video file she was carrying, but the way that Shepard was hauled out of the club last night, she wasn't sure she wanted to know what was on that video. 

The cab stopped and Jack got out and walked straight to the hotel front doors, she walked past the portier and directly towards the room she had been told that Alenko would be in. She frowned, poor Shepard, he had finally found someone who he thought really liked him. She had noticed how soft his smile had been when he had looked at Alenko, and how his eyes would light up when he talked about him, even if he thought he was being guarded. And it turned out to be a ruse, a bastard that had tapped into Shepard's loneliness. Nothing she could do about it now though. She stopped in front of Alenko's door, and knocked. 

When Kaidan opened he blinked against the stark light in the corridor. "Yes?" 

"I have a message for you." Jack said, "And just for the record," She handed him the data pad with the video on, "You're a fucking asshole." Jack turned and left just as quickly as she had arrived, already running back down into the waiting cab. 

Kaidan had closed the door, and stared at the data pad. What the hell? Was this even for him? He tossed the data pad on the bed and turned on the light, he looked at the time, it was about time he got up anyways, so he left his room for the coffee vending matching. Where the hell had he seen that tattooed chick before? His sleepy brain tried to place her, a cold shiver went down his spine as he recalled, he had met her when he and John had been on their way out back, she was a dancer in the Plastique. Kaidan almost spilled his coffee when he ran back to his room and snatched up the data pad. He sat down and pushed play, watching the screen, sipping his coffee.

The video was blurred and then cleared up, showing Shepard hanging from the ceiling of some sorts of large empty hall, like a closed down factory or something. "Alenko." Saren said with a smirk in his voice, stepping in front of the screen, "Now I told the little man here about you, and he told me about you, fair exchange don't you think?" 

Saren turned his back to the camera, and walked slowly over to Shepard, who was clearly struggling with staying on his toes so his entire bodyweight would not rest on his shoulders, his head was down, but Kaidan could see blood. Saren walked behind Shepard, pulling his head up to look at the camera, "Smile,” Saren said, and Shepard tried to smile with his split swollen lip. His left eye was closed and swollen too, but the right was open and looking straight into the camera, wide with fear and pain. "So little man, tell me what did Alenko promise you?" Saren said softly, and when Shepard didn't answer, Saren pulled Shepard's arm, making him scream. "Earth!" 

"Oh." Saren said motherly, "Now Alenko, that is not a nice thing to do, lie to the hookers like that." He laughed, "You did know that right? That it is what your little friend here is." Saren's free hand caressed Shepard's cheek, making Shepard flinch. "He must have really liked you if he didn't charge." Saren laughed. "Anyway, enough with the pleasantries," He turned from the camera, "Skarr, you're up." 

Skarr came into the picture frame, and wrapped something around Shepard's waist, it was not until he flipped a switch on the side of the box attached to the belt that Kaidan realized what it was, Skarr opened his omni tool and punched something in. "Alright Alenko, I hope for the little man's sake, that girl was as fast as we told her to be." He looked down at the omni tool, "It is 06:34," punching a button on the box on Shepard's stomach, "Fair is fair, so I'll give you two hours," The digital numbers on the box started to count down with a weak click, Shepard moaned something and Skarr leaned in as far as his big head would let him, "Did you say something little man?" When Shepard just let out a pained weak sob, Skarr shrugged. 

"We're leaving Omega in exactly two hours; I'll be waiting at the docking hangars in plain sight." Saren said. "Or you could come here; your boyfriend is blown to pieces in two hours, Warehouse five in the Kenzo district. Make your choice Alenko." 

And with that the video ended. Kaidan looked over at the clock; it was fifteen minutes past seven. For a moment Kaidan just sat and stared at the mangled face of Shepard where the video had cut out. Saren knew him better than he had thought, should he go after Shepard, or should he go after Saren and the bounty? If he had gotten this recording earlier, maybe he would have been able to do both. But now the time was too short and he had to choose. 

He grabbed his jacket and went to get his bike, he started it up and started driving towards the docking hangars, eyes on the prize Alenko, he told himself. But in the back of his head he heard Shepard with his soft shy voice say, 'I had not expected to like you this much,' "Dammit!" Kaidan growled and sped up the bike trying to rid his head of these thoughts, 'You better not be shitting me,' - Kaidan stopped his bike, "Fuck!" he raged, turning the bike around and drove towards the Kenzo district so fast he almost crashed twice. What was he thinking? He had been hunting Saren for years, and was he really about to give that up for some dancer? Kaidan grit his teeth, the truth unsettled him and the truth was that Shepard was just not some dancer, the truth was that he had pictured them drinking beer under clear blue skies, had imagined Shepard's eyes light up in awe and wonder, and his lips smile as he would show him all the beauty of Earth. 

Shepard had stopped counting the ticks of time in his head long ago. His legs buckled under him, forcing him to let his broken arm carry the weight of his body till he found footing again. He felt mostly like crying, not because it was the end, but he wanted to cry for all that could have been. What his life could have been had it not been for the Batarian slavers, he was pretty sure his mom and dad had not in their craziest nightmares imagined that their son would meet his maker, dangling in a warehouse in skimpy clothes, sobbing over time badly spent. He wasn't as much upset that Kaidan had lied, as he was to have his dreams ruined. There was so much he had wanted to do; places he had wanted to see, like Earth, Detroit where his parents were from. Illium for its splendors and spirituality, the Citadel for the size and adventure. There was just so much, he would have loved to do, all those dreams he had had before the slavers welled up in his mind. He could hear Skarr and his men scurry about, and he knew that Kaidan would walk straight into a trap if he came. But since Saren had left some of his men behind it meant that he wasn't sure. Somehow that gave Shepard a tiny spark of hope. 

Kaidan slammed the breaks on his bike so hard he almost tumbled from it. He looked up at the warehouse sign, it was warehouse five alright, and then he looked down at his watch, he had thirty minutes before it didn't really matter anymore. Kaidan snuck into the building keeping to the shadows, not sure if Saren had been lying. He snuck closer to the back of the warehouse, well aware that he had to be both silent and quick. When he finally saw Shepard, he sucked in his breath and grit his teeth, not even the damn holo had done it justice, he looked absolutely mangled, his arm sticking out in a weird twisted angle, and a large dark purple almost black bruise formed on his side, from what Kaidan guessed was a broken rib or more. Guilt tightened around his chest like a belt, it was his fault that Shepard had been caught in the middle of this, the least he could do was to do good on his promise, right? To take him to Earth, if Shepard would ever forgive him. 

Sneaking around the light cones, and over to where Shepard hung, Kaidan kneeled at his feet and caressed his cheek gently. "Hey John." He whispered, "I'm gonna get you out of this, okay?" 

Shepard's good eye cracked open and focused on Kaidan, "Skarr," Shepard whispered, "Is here." 

"Now!" Skarr yelled and jumped over a crate, followed by five other Krogans, "I got you now, Alenko!" 

Kaidan turned his head and looked over at the advancing Krogan. "Shit," He hissed.

"Looks like I lost the bet," Skarr said drily, "I told Saren you'd not be so stupid as to come running here for the little man," He smiled a cruel and on the same time amused smile. "He's gonna be dead in a moment anyway."

~*~

Shepard couldn't really see what was going on, but he felt the rumble in the ground, and he saw what he thought was Kaidan flaring bright blue. That had to be a trick of his mind, he had heard of human biotics, Jack had talked about her childhood and the things done to her, but he had never seen it in action. A Krogan lifted in the air was hurled towards the end wall, but ended up hitting Shepard instead as Kaidan was thrown out of focus by Skarr. He turned his head to check Shepard, he seemed to have passed out, because he was hanging by his broken arm and shoulder without as much as a whimper. Kaidan noted the time on the bomb on Shepard's chest, he had fifteen minutes to finish this fight and disarm that bomb, and suddenly dying here in the blast became a very real possibility. Funny that he should feel heroic at the end, Kaidan thought to himself, here he was trying against all odds to rescue Shepard. He had only managed to take out two Krogan, and he felt completely drained. Kaidan blinked to his surprise when one of the Krogan suddenly levitated and a spray of bullets was pumped into it till it fell lifeless to the ground. Kaidan turned to see where the unexpected aid came from, he saw the bouncer from the club and the other dancer, his headache was drumming behind his eyes because of him exhausting his implant. He couldn't remember their names, but they seemed surprised that he was here. "Get him down!" Jack yelled, picking up another Krogan with biotics. 

Kaidan welcomed the break from battle, he looked at the watch on the bomb, he had eight minutes left to disarm this thing, he focused on getting the lid off the box and stared down into a chaos of wires. He took a deep breath, his palms sweaty and his hands shaking slightly, both from exhaustion and fear. He looked up at Shepard's abused face; he was still out stone cold. Kaidan looked back at the wires, maybe it was a good thing that Shepard wasn't awake for the final count down and the blast, the thought that Shepard should live his last moments in raw fear was unbearable, Kaidan's heart clenched at the thought, and a little smile tugged at his lips. Of all the things, now of all times he would realize that he regretted not telling Shepard how he felt, how he had wished that Shepard would come with him, and how he had dreamed of whatever future they'd have. Funny then in his dreams, it was always ‘them’; he had stopped imagining a life without Shepard, so maybe this wasn't all wrong? At least he wouldn't have to live out his days knowing that if he had played his hand differently, Shepard had never been involved, would never have paid the ultimate price for it. He would still be a goddamn Adonis in glitter, entertaining the guests at Plastique. 

"Alenko!" James yelled, ducking behind a crate to avoid Skarr's bullets. 

"Right." Kaidan bit his lip, fervently wondering if there was an afterlife, and if there was, would there be a garden where he and Shepard could sit in the sun and drink beer? - He pulled a cord and closed his eyes tight shut, but nothing happened. Nothing. Kaidan looked at the timer, one minute left. He looked at the cords again, and picked out the one he thought it was, he pulled it, and nothing happened. Kaidan's eyes widened in panic, "Goddammit!" He cried. 

"It's okay." Shepard whispered above him, "Pull them all." 

Kaidan looked up at Shepard who studied him with his one good eye, "Sure?" 

"Ye-" Shepard didn't finish his sentence before Kaidan just grabbed all the cords and pulled them. He could have cried when the watch stopped with ten seconds to go. He had a hard time understanding why Saren would have used such an amateurish bomb, but right now he didn't care. He didn't even notice the ruckus behind him as Skarr escaped the warehouse, pursued by Jack and James. Kaidan just stood and used what little of his biotic powers that had recharged and broke the chain that held Shepard up. The broken man fell into Kaidan's arms. "Hey John." Kaidan smiled, cradling Shepard like was he a young child. 

"Hey Kaidan." Shepard smiled as much as his lips would allow him. 

"I'm sorry." Kaidan said, kissing Shepard's sweat covered forehead. 

"What for?" Shepard struggling to keep his eye open, looking at Kaidan.

"Everything, lying to you, using you." Kaidan said, gently wiping some blood from Shepard's face. "I didn't know I would...” He smiled mostly at his own stupidity, "grow this fond of you." 

"It's okay." Shepard sighed, "I let you." 

"That you did," Kaidan wrapped his other arm around Shepard and held him tight against his chest. 

~*~

Kaidan would have brought flowers but he didn't since there were none to be had on Omega. He was less than impressed by the hospital, but it was what Kaidan had been able to pay for. He knew from Jack that Pitbull had talked to Groto, who thought that Shepard was dead, and Pitbull didn't feel like correcting him. Funny how help sometimes came from the strangest places. Like Jack and James, they would never tell a soul what happened that day in the warehouse, neither would Skarr since he had some street-credit to uphold, and to be driven off by a dancer and a bouncer was more humiliation than he could stand, he would not tell anyone that Shepard didn't blow up that day. Kaidan walked down the mucky hospital corridor, trying to ignore the poor souls who were laying and sitting there. At least Shepard had gotten a room, well he had to share it with nine others, but it was better than the corridor. 

"Hey handsome." Kaidan said with a smile as he walked into the hospital room.

"Hey there." Shepard said, his face still banged up pretty bad and he had gotten stitches in his lip and across his brow. His arm was broken in three places including the shoulder. And he had some broken ribs and a fractured foot, but all in all it was pretty okay all things considered. Shepard put down the data pad he was reading and smiled at Kaidan, "What brings you here?" 

"You." Kaidan said sitting down at the foot-end of the bed, "I was thinking... I am leaving Omega soon, booked a seat on a shuttle to earth, and -” 

"Ah okay." Shepard's smile died on his lips in contrast to his forgiving words. "I sorta wondered why you were still around, you ought to be running after your prize, he won't expect it now, he thinks you died in a bomb blast." 

"Yeah well," Kaidan said, placing a warm hand on Shepard's shin, "I think it's time I took a break." 

"But why? Now would be the best time to -” 

"John." Kaidan cut off whatever it was Shepard was about to say. "I almost lost everything, hunting after him. So I've been thinking that maybe it was about time someone else took over." He shrugged, "And maybe it's about time I went home to see my parents." 

"Oh...” John smiled sadly, "Of course, I just thought -” 

"So you're free now, when you leave this hospital you're free to do whatever you want." Kaidan said nodding at the windows to the street, "What's your plan?" 

Plan? Shepard didn't have a plan. He didn't really want to lay his shit on Kaidan; he had saved his life and paid for all this, and... And truth was that he was even worse off now than he had been before he met Kaidan. When he left here he was broke, out of a job and had nowhere to go. Only one real solution to that if he wanted to make enough money to get to Earth. "Maybe the Alliance office as you said," Shepard said, knowing he was lying through his teeth.

"Sounds like a plan." Kaidan said still smiling. 

"So, when are you leaving?" Shepard asked, hoping he didn't sound too desperate, he knew he had forgiven Kaidan for manipulating him, but he just wasn't ready to tell himself that it had all just been an act. He had come to get him, hadn't he? And the smiles had seemed so genuine, and maybe Shepard was just fooling himself, but why would he pay for the hospital? Did he feel guilty? 

"In two days." Kaidan said. "I just came by to see how you were doing, and if you needed something." 

"I'm fine." Shepard said with a professional smile, "You've done so much already." 

"You can say that again," Kaidan nodded, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be here." 

"Maybe I would, there is no telling." Shepard said with a slight nod.

"So I guess this is goodbye," Kaidan said, slowly standing from the bed, "In a weeks’ time I will be sitting on my parent's balcony with a beer, enjoying the scenery, just kicking back, trying to forget Omega and Saren. And you? Maybe you'll be in the Alliance, maybe you'll be on the streets of Omega, or maybe you will be sitting next to me with a beer in your hand." 

Shepard blinked, "What?" 

Kaidan pulled a chip from his pocket, "I came by to give you this, if you want It." he placed it in Shepard's hand gently.

Closing his hand around the chip, Shepard looked up at Kaidan with a puzzled expression, "What is it?" 

"It's a seat on a shuttle that leaves for Earth, in two days." Kaidan said trying to keep his casual composure, but truth was he was dead nervous if Shepard would toss it back in his face or what. They hadn’t exactly had time to talk, so for all he knew, Shepard would think that all that Kaidan had said and done had been a lie. 

"Yours?" Shepard asked his voice thick with emotion, "seat I mean." 

"No," Kaidan said, "I have my own seat, that seat there is for you. Do with it what you want." He forced himself to look down at Shepard's surprised face as he studied the chip. "You can use it to get to earth and start over, you can sell it here on Omega, or you - you could come with me home." His voice became nothing but a whisper.

"I -” Shepard licked his lips, "This is worth a whole lot of credit, Kaidan. Are you sure that -” 

"As I said, it's yours." Kaidan smiled, "Anyway, I should be going - So, it's been a pleasure, and I mean that." He chuckled a little, even if he knew it was tasteless, "I hope to see you at the dock in two days. Shepard." And with that he literally fled the hospital room and Shepard's, worried, puzzled, blue eyes. 

~*~

Kaidan couldn't help but to keep looking around the corner as he was waiting on the dock for his shuttle. He had already had his bike and bag brought aboard, now he only needed to go seat himself. He looked at the clock, the shuttle would leave soon, and there was no sight of Shepard. Maybe he had sold the chip? Maybe he thought that he would have an easier time making a living of his own up here, than on Earth, after all, he knew everyone here, and had a name. 

God he wished that he had done it differently, maybe if he didn't feel like he had deceived Shepard, then he had been able to just waltz into that hospital room and kiss him, and tell him he would pick him up in two days and that they were going to Earth, like he promised. And they were going to have a nice dinner at his parents, where he would introduce John as his boyfriend, later they'd retire to the balcony and watch the sun set, drinking a beer. Just sitting there, being content, until they retired and like teenagers had to hush each other while they fumbled with the pajama pants that his mother insisted that they wore, in his single person bed, leaving the extra bed ignored on the other side of the room. And that, that would be the sweetest lovemaking in the history of love. 

But as the clock ticked, it didn't look like that would be the scenario. He would still go to his parents for dinner, and still have a beer while the sun set, and still wear those stupid pajama pants, and get into his single person bed. But it would be without John. He found that the thought made his chest tighten with worry. Why the hell hadn't he just admitted that he couldn't imagine going home without John? Fuck that! Maybe he should stay and re-schedule his departure? These seats had been really hard to get, not to mention really damn expensive, and if he didn't get a refund on his he'd be pretty broke. He squared his shoulders and pushed open his omni tool, calling the hospital. 

When the call had ended, Kaidan just sat and stared at the closed connection's little swirling extranet icon. When he had finally gotten through to someone who recalled him, he was told that Shepard had been released yesterday, so a day early. He had left no contact info or told anyone where he'd go. Kaidan couldn't ignore the sinking feeling anymore, Shepard wasn't going to show. All he could do was to hope that he at least had gotten a fair price for the chip and that he would be okay. Kaidan ran a hand over his face and sighed, truth be told he was disappointed, mostly in himself, cause what could he ask of the man who he lied to from day one, of course he'd think he lied when he asked him to come to Earth with him. And if he had told how he felt right there in the hospital, he was sure Shepard would have thought he lied to work a different angle and for some different reason. Maybe he wouldn't have minded? Kaidan still remembered what Shepard had said before he passed out that day in the warehouse. That he didn't mind that it was all a hoax, that he had 'let' Kaidan do it. 

"Hey Stranger." Shepard said cradling his arm in a sling, against his chest. And in the other he had a plastic bag, the shirt and pants he wore was clearly hospital issue but he still had his boots. He walked over to Kaidan and put down the plastic bag. "My shorts," He said, not willing to elaborate. 

"You came!" Kaidan wanted to laugh with relief; he had worried himself sick, when he should have realized that Shepard would have to walk all the way down here. 

"Yeah." Shepard smiled a little timid, "Did you - uhm - Did you really mean that about that beer?" 

"Of course!" Kaidan got up from the crate he had been sitting on and buried Shepard in a warm embrace, "I was so worried you wouldn't come." he admitted in a whisper. "I am so sorry I lied to you, I promise you I won't ever do that again." 

"I told you it was fine," Shepard said resting his head on Kaidan's shoulder. "I wasn't exactly honest either." 

"Alright," Shepard said, muffled in Kaidan's jacket, "Those Blue Suns you saved me from, they were paid to drag me out like that." He took a deep sigh, "And I was told to drink that cocktail, I didn't know it was drugged, but I wasn't really surprised that it was, but they weren't the ones giving it to me." 

"Someone knew I was there?" Kaidan asked surprised.

"This is Omega; there is always someone who knows something." Shepard chuckled a little drily, "I wasn't instructed to do something specific, I suppose Pitbull just wanted to find out why you were on Omega.’Ca use unlike the rest of us, he knew who you were from day one. So if I had come home to the club and said something about that you were asking for Saren, or whomever, Pitbull would have known." 

"But you didn't." 

"No." Shepard said finally stepping back and ending the embrace. "I sorta liked you, and besides then no one had seen Marlowe for ages, so I supposed you'd just go away on your own, no reason to get everyone riled up. Besides if I made you believe that Marlowe might come to Omega real soon," Shepard smiled a little goofy, "I got to have you hanging around a little more." 

Kaidan smiled and kissed Shepard's still slightly swollen lip, "Ready to leave this place?" he asked. 

"Fuck yeah." Shepard leered. 

 

EPILOGUE;

Shepard sat in a comfortable café chair and looked out on the sun set over English Bay, a cold beer nestled between his thighs. "This is beautiful," He sighed blissfully. 

"I know." Kaidan rested his head on Shepard's shoulder, staring off into the orange ball in the horizon. "This is how it's supposed to be, you know." 

"Thank you,” Shepard said softly, "Not just for the obvious, but for all that with your parents. You make me sound so respectable." He chuckled amused, "Who would have thought?" 

"What good would it do to tell them the truth?" Kaidan whispered, taking a sip of his beer in an awkward angle. 

"None I suppose." Shepard said, "But now your dad will expect me to mix drinks every time I'm here. Why did you have to tell him I was a bartender, man?" 

"Want me to tell him you're an exotic dancer?" Kaidan asked with a smile, knowing Shepard's reply. 

"I still am, only for you though. Strictly VIP." Shepard laughed, making Kaidan laugh a little as he felt a slight blush on his cheeks, from the beer or the mental images, he wasn't sure. 

"Are you two good out here?" Kaidan's mother asked, peeking out on the balcony, "It's not too cold is it? I could get you a plaid or something." 

"We're good mom." Kaidan laughed, "Thanks though." 

Kaidan's mother went inside again, and Kaidan straightened up in his seat. "It really is the most beautiful sight in the world." 

Shepard smiled and took a sip of his beer, he had never in a million years thought he would live to see something like this again, or feel at home somewhere ever again. He could not explain to Kaidan that it would take some time before he got used to being the master of his own life, a simple thing like sleeping in was hard for him to do, it was drilled into his core reactions to never sleep more than a couple of hours. Kaidan was frustrated that he wasn't able to lay bone idle in a bed for an entire morning, but got up to help Mrs. Alenko instead, unable to harness his nervous energy, and needed to feel useful. In time he would unlearn what the Batarians had forced him to learn. And he was confident that Kaidan had that time, and it was a miracle in its own that they both allowed themselves to believe in them as a couple, neither was easy to trust someone else. Shepard took another sip of beer in the comfortable silence, he knew that Kaidan was a little sad that they had met like they had, and would have wanted to date and do stuff together like other people did when they were falling in love. Shepard just wasn't other people, and he had mostly just humored Kaidan when he had asked him out to a movie and a drink, but he had found that he absolutely loved it, he almost craved it! Just to feel special and cherished for just being John and that Kaidan wanted him to be there, and no one else. It was mind-blowing really. 

Shepard raised his beer to toast, "Here's to coming home!" He said.

Kaidan raised a brow, and then smiled, "I'll drink to that!"

 

THE END.


End file.
